Lessons I'm Still Learning
The process of evolving and building the studio has put me in positions I’ve never been in before. And I know this is only the start of the journey. The transformational process within myself has been one I’ve been reflecting on and I wanted to share some of my current weaknesses and big lessons with you. For starters, I often find it easier to share my vulnerabilities publicly when I think things are in the rear view mirror, but one big shift in my perspective is that Formation is going to be a constant evolution and there won't be an end, there is only a point in time. Here’s what I’m working on:
A Positive Mental State
"You can do anything you put your mind to." I never felt the truth of the statement when my parents would tell me in my youth or when I’d read it in someone’s caption while admiring their photo of them looking into the landscape (you know the type). But when Roman and I made the decision to act on the studio, it was finally illustrated to me how true this is. Whether it be good or bad, your thoughts direct you to where you go. One day earlier this Spring I started feeling like I was coming down with a cold, so while Roman was in the studio for class, I sat in the lobby and I fell into an Instagram hole. I started looking up other new studios opening up, other business owners doing cool collaborations (and appearing to succeed), and quickly fell into a deep creep that made me feel so insecure, threatened, and overall shitty. And it was all my doing. Like popping that not-quite-ready zit when you know it will be worse in the end. I noticed my funky mood lingered after I got home and it was the first time I was able to identify this head space and act on it. I put my phone far away from me, turned on my Vitruvi diffuser, sat on the couch to journal my thoughts, meditated and leaned into what I was grateful for to pick myself out of the hole I was digging.
I try to do a few things daily which keep me aligned on my path and in a good head space.
Morning: I write three things I’m grateful for and what my long-term goal and vision is.
Before bed: I reflect on the wins of the day, lessons I’ve learned, and three more things I’m grateful for. (I use the Best Self journal which has all of these prompts.)
We often focus on physical conditioning to keep our bodies healthy, but everyday I work on conditioning myself to keep my mind in a space where I can thrive, have positive thoughts, and keep a clear picture of my future. It’s cheesy because it’s true. You can do anything you put your mind to.
Empowering Language
In line with my intention of reinforcing a positive mental space, I’ve been working on my language. I noticed when I made a statement I would often follow it with “I think.” Adding these two words immediately diminished the value of the preceding statement. I’m sure it's no surprise to learn how often I felt overlooked when both Roman and I were in a room dealing with construction. And despite me bring the lead on this portion of the project, there was a vendor who kept addressing invoice emails to Roman though he had never corresponded with them and I was dealing with every payment. This continued even after I pointed out that those emails should be addressed to me. Feeling overlooked in this way has only motivated me to ensure I empower myself in the language I use. Others may not recognize my power, especially as an Asian woman, so I must.
I'm working on the confident tone of my language. I delete “just” multiple times a day from texts and emails. I don’t “just” have ideas, thoughts and opinions. I do have ideas, thoughts, and opinions which matter.
Letting Go of Control
The hardest one. And I feel like this will be something I work on for my whole life.
My brain works like this: goal, plan, go. It's a fast forward track, like when you get a speed boost in Mario Kart. So when I was told a date from our project managers for the studio's opening, I instantly made a work-back for every element of our launch and business. But then that date changed and my plan was no longer valid. Ok, round two. We get a new date. A solid, predictable date because we were out of the weeds with permitting. I was told this doesn’t have as many variables so I should be confident. Ok, well I made a new plan. But nope. Didn’t work out that way. This is one of many, many ways life has illustrated to me on this journey that I cannot control everything.
What I’ve learned is eventually my goal will be met. Our doors will open. The path upon which we get there may be a little loopy and off of the nicely groomed walk way, but our destination will be the same. We have a vision and it will be realized. I need to practice relaxing my grip on how we get there and give space for life to unfold. I’m working on trusting the process and remind myself often (or Roman reminds me when I forget) that the universe doesn’t happen to me, it happens for me. (One of my favourite quotes which I heard from Ed Mylett.)
This is where I’m at in my process. I want to strengthen all of my weaknesses so I am in the best position I can place myself in to succeed. These lessons have often been uncomfortable to learn but that’s what I’m here for. That’s why we chose this path. Because, like you, we want to grow and thrive and be better every day. Thank you for reading and I hope there is something here that helps you on your own journey.