Transformation: Thank You
It's December. 31st. I'm in Battambang, Cambodia. We just visited Mark's mom's village that she grew up in. She spoke of how she often feels sadness and happiness when she goes back home to see her family. Happy to see them but sad to see how they live. I won't sugarcoat it; they're poor and live in poverty. They all gathered to collect clothing and goods that she brought back from them. They were extremely grateful and appreciative of every single thing they received — whether it fit them or not.
This wasn't a new scene for me. I have family in the Philippines that would beam with joy whenever a box arrived with goods for them. My grandmother (Nanay) would make us hoard everything just to send it "back home" because we always had a cousin or aunt or uncle that could use what we now considered disposable. So I learned at an early age not to take anything for granted. This is precisely why she made us pray and give thanks for every single thing we had; tangible and intangible.
This entire trip, thus far, has been an immense reminder in gratitude. There are so many basic things we take for granted in our Western world and our "first world problems." It's easy to live in our bubbles and forget there's a whole world outside our own ego. A world where people are living in extreme poverty but remain resilient and happy; grateful and untroubled.
2019 has been a year transformative year for me. Being in Cambodia has been a necessary reminder of all the things I have to be grateful for. I went into this trip having zero inclination of wanting to be here; mostly because of all the resentment I was harbouring towards Mark.
This is a multi-family trip. We're also with his parents, his brother's family of 5, his brother's in-laws and several of Mark's family in Cambodia are also travelling around the country with us. 24 of us in total. We booked our flights in May; the month before Mark went completely off the rails. As you can imagine, with Mark not working for four of the last six months the financial pressure on me has been huge. And even though he went back to work in November his paycheques are getting fully garnished by various creditors. Three weeks before our departure I actually decided we weren't going to go and we both agreed that would be best considering our financial situation; his mom convinced us to go anyway and I am so glad she did.
This is Mark's first time to Cambodia. Our main reason for coming, aside from seeing his homeland, is to visit the refugee camp in Thailand that he and his brother were born in. They lived the first few years of their lives there. Their mom had escaped to Thailand when the Khmer Rouge was power and killed millions of Cambodians. You can still see the pain in his mom's eyes when she talks about the experience; it's an insanely inspiring story filled with a mother's strength and courage. Only Mark's older sister was born at the time and she carried her on her back as she trekked through mountain jungles filled with bombs.
It is stories like these that really put things into perspective. She literally risked her life just to give her child a better chance at life. I look at my own three children and think about what I'd be willing to do for them. The answer is easy: anything and everything. The one thing I want to do for them is teaching them how to live a life filled with gratitude. Without it I would not be where I am today. It has gotten me through the worst episodes of my life and I'm a better person because of it.
So this is an appreciation post. In my very first blogpost I proclaimed that the studio changed my life. It really has. I haven't done a class in nine days and I swear I'm dreaming about Power. I even considered going to the gym this morning in hopes of replicating those same feel-good endorphins.
When I first started doing classes they were merely an escape from my reality; literally and figuratively. When the studio doors opened I'm September it quickly became a lifestyle. I was addicted. It was a drug I could be proud of though.
Thank you. Thank you, Saschie and Roman for establishing a judgement-free space that allows each person to not only connect with their own mind, body and should but also with others. Thank you to all the instructors that bring contagious energy to each and every class and continuously encourage us to turn off, turn up and get down. And thank you for being you. I come back because of you — the camaraderie, the community, the connections.
We all shared our light this month, now I want to shine the light on Form-Nation. You have created a space that embodies kindness, compassion, inspiration and transformation. A space that is welcoming and inviting to all. You have cultivated a community that I am proud to be a part of. Amazing energy radiates throughout the studio at all times; it's a beautifully rare thing. Let's share that light.
I am thankful for every lesson and every growing pain 2019 brought. I look forward to what 2020 has in store for me. I know whatever happens I will be grateful it does. Amor fati.